1/3 of a lung and still smoking

people are stupid about smoking.
if you only have 1/3 of your one lung still working and you decide to continue to smoke- you are an idiot! and not only an idiot for yourself but you are carelessly using medicare to help pay for your medical needs which is coming out of tax payers pockets. so, you know what- don't work. keep smoking, keep using the government and taking from it everything that you can. You will be dead soon- (oh, right- you didn't think smoking could kill!) and one less free loader to think about.

week one

so it's been about a week since my doctors appointment. and these are the things i've learned about my eating habits and what foods my stomach does not like:

I usually eat really good (meaning healthy, low calorie and low carb) until about 10pm. after that time, it all goes down hill. which really sucks for me, because since i work at night I eat really late and that even carries on to the nights i'm not working.

I had a moment today- i was watching a tv show and a girl i went to college with was in it. and she looked pretty amazing. she never looked amazing and now she looks amazing. so immediately I wanted to kill myself and start throwing up everything i had eaten all day (but i hate throwing up, even when i'm sick i'd rather not throw up, so needless to say, i didn't throw up).

so, anyway, i dont know what all this means except that i had a moment and i don't like the way i look anymore and that directly is affecting how i feel about myself. so blah. i feel blah.

fun facts!

After the recent debate and listening to CNN about their "fact checker", i checked it out. I also found this article on MSN.com. I find it extremely interesting that these people go on national tv and talk about numbers and quotes and voting histories that aren't always the truth. I mean, yeah, I can make anything look better than it actually is or worse depending whos side i'm on. And since the majority of Americans aren't up to date on how many times so-in-so voted on this or on that--- no one would be ever the wiser! oh, how i love the internet!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27001026/

Check it out!

Diet

So, I went to the doctor today because my stomach hurts all the time and i was put on a diet. Mainly to find out which foods make my stomach hurt and which ones don't and how my body processes them. I also have to make a food diary and in two weeks go back to her. After I eat I'm supposed to take note of how I feel. I'm to eat whatever I would normally eat, just take note of how it makes me feel. (not supposed to drink diet drinks and when i eat tacos- i told her i eat a lot of tacos- i should eat them with a corn tortilla. worse two things ever.)
So here we go...

oct. 1, 2008
Three cups of water - 12pm - felt thirsty
Chicken Breast, sweet potato, diet coke - 2pm - felt hungry and still hungry. my meal also came with mac and cheese but it was cold so i didn't eat it. the diet coke tasted great. i'm not supposed to drink diet coke anymore. ugh.
Crackers - 4pm - very salty and delicious.
2 oreos - 5:30pm - wanted something sweet. they were just ok actually. maybe almost stale.
a couple more glasses of water- 7:15pm
a few carrots with ranch dressing - 7:45pm (my work had them) they were ok. the dressing was weird.

so, i'll keep posting when i eat more. it already seems like i've eaten a lot today. and i'm hungry right now. writing and thinking about food so much might not be a good thing...

Even Antarctica loves SHRIMP!

Thought this was pretty awesome- because I love shrimp!

Shrimp-Like Fossil Confirms Antarctica Was Once Warmer
Michael Reilly, Discovery News e-mail share bookmark print

Warm-Weather Creature July 23, 2008 -- Windswept and frigid, Antarctica's Dry Valleys region is among the most inhospitable on Earth. But it wasn't always that way.

Scientists have discovered the fossil of a 14 million-year-old crustacean lurking in the sediments of an ancient lake. Together with well-preserved mosses, these tiny cousins of shrimp -- called Ostracods -- offer new evidence that the icy continent was once much warmer.

Led by Mark Williams of the University of Leicester in the United Kingdom, a team of researchers sifted through sediments left by the ancient Lake Boreas, looking for signs of Antarctica's climate history. What they found stunned them.

"One of my students working on a microscope said 'could there be little eyes staring back at me?'" Allan Ashworth of North Dakota State University in Fargo said. "I said 'No,'" but further examination proved that's exactly what they were -- Ostracod eyes.

Some 60,000 species of Ostracods thrive today around the planet in both fresh and salt water. The tiny invertebrates are found in places where summer temperatures are as low as 5 degrees Centigrade (41 degrees Fahrenheit). But there are none alive in the Antarctic Dry Valleys, where the austral summer averages between -15 and -20 degrees C (5 to -4 degrees F).

Scientists know that Antarctica used to be much warmer -- fossil leaves from ancient plants have been found to exist up until around 40 million years ago, and pollen has been dated to as early as 20 million years ago.


to view full article:
http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2008/07/23/antarctica-fossil.html

Romeo is the cutest dog ever!

and he's mine! well, ours. These are some of the newest pictures of our family.

more funny pictures

bob got me addicted to this website : faildog.com so check it out and see all the cute dogs failing! love it!

to make you laugh

i just heard something that was upsetting...

If you ever think "well, it's jade, so..." again- we should just stop talking immediately. we should just stop being friends. that way maybe you will take those ideas and thoughts seriously, and i don't have to be involved at all.

so, on that note- good luck with it. because at this point, i'm damned if i do and damned if i don't. I prefer the don't.

i can't hide it any longer

i want to be there for you.
i want you to know that not all people are like this.
i want to be able to talk to you about these things
i want you to not compromise yourself for the happiness of someone else.
you are really special. and i don't like someone telling you any differently.
i don't like sitting in a room knowing that you are upset and not be able to do anything about it.

and i know you would feel the same way.
so, don't shut me out.
how can i help?

New Magazine I love and think is absolutely fab!

I should probably immediately send my resume to this magazine because it seems like the perfect place for me.

Travelgirl is a hip magazine founded in Georgia for chic, cute girls who love to travel. They have fun trips with cool sites that only a true travelgirl would treasure. they describe themselves as sexy and fab! The only thing is... I wish I had thought of this idea myself. (it might be even cuter, if i had.)

if you think you're a travelgirl- you should check it out. fyi: the website could use some work. (i mean, the name of the site (the inc part) sucks.
www.travelgirlinc.com

London- a work in Progress

So I started writing my mini series about a girl who studies abroad and her adventures. It has a lot of my own experiences, but I'm going to throw in a bunch from the trip and mix and match for added drama. Hopefully it won't be complete crap and we will film them. I mean if those quarterlife people can do it, why can't a bunch of my friends do it too!

I'll keep you posted and maybe even upload the scripts so you can read them and let me know what you think.

BMI

so, just for fun, i decided to calculate my BMI. Lately I've been running an average of about 3 miles every other day and two days a week playing tennis. Usually I do some muscle toning too but not as regularly as the other things. So I calculated it and I'm 24.8. which is still considered in the Normal range, but very close to the Overweight range. So, I then calculated how many calories I'm probably eating now, and how many I need to cut out to lose 10% of my body weight. Which on this website- said that was the way to do it. anyway, I'd have to lose about 12 pounds. and cut out 500 calories a day. and that is already including when I'm exercising. So I read the article and I need to up the amount of cardio, do three times a week of strength training and not eat any sweets, refined cards or drink any wine or beer. So, basically if I wanted to move my range closer to the middle of the Normal range, I have a lot of work to do. Only really sucks because i'm at work right now, and I would love to work out. I guess I need to bring a treadmill and put it in the spare room. I'm sure my boss would love that. anyway, I'll keep you all updated on the progress of this and maybe if my body gets slamming- I'll post pictures too. but only if it's slamming!

Hulu

This is something that makes me very happy. Bob called me at work to tell me about this new site that is a company or offspring of Fox and they have a bunch of movies and tv shows you can watch for free on your computer. So I spent the last four hours watching past episodes of The Office. It was great and I can't wait to spend more hours at my job watching other really great shows. Thankfully I got a raise today, so all that time I'm making a few extra bucks. Check it out at www.hulu.com

also, for all you office fans out there- New Episodes air April 10th! which just so happens to be the day I get back from Mexico and one of my best friends birthdays! so happy birthday to him and happy return for me and the office. I've missed Jim, Pam, dwight, Jan, Oscar, tobey, angela, kevin, stanley, Phyllis, Creed, Ryan, Kelly, the warehouse guys and Michael.


happy friday!

Striving to... be.

This isn't going to make best of Craigslist or any other best of list- but this is the best I got for right now.
this is like one of those exercises they teach you in freshman english. just start writing and see where it takes you. so this is that. and this is about money.
I'm striving to save money. Pay off credit cards and save money. There is no dress that I "have to have." NO matter how cute it may be. There is no restaurant that is so delicious that I "have to eat there." The only thing I should spend money on is my health, my car and my education or career. I should spend money on new headshots. I should go to the dentist. I should get my stomach problems checked out. I should send out headshots to agents. I should take a dance class, a cooking class or an acting class. I should travel. Because traveling broadens your mind and makes you understand and accept other cultures, and maybe even adopt some new ideas and ways of thinking. I should save money to one day be able to buy my own house. Or condo, if I still live in L.A. I am really talented. For some reason I am just sitting here wasting away and I don't know why. And I'm pretty cute. and I'm very friendly. which is funny that I just wrote that because I was talking with a friend today and she said "so, she's friendly, and she's cute- but is she special?" And, I don't really know how I feel about that, But I do know that I am special. and not in a corny way or special needs way, but in a I deserve to be here and people should take notice kinda way. I used to wake up and feel motivated to go and conquer the world. or at least conquer the tube to camden town. I mean, I navigated my way through Rome and wasn't the least bit scared or intimidated. Why am I timid when I meet new people? Or scared to stay home alone? (oh, that's because rob did a lapdcrimewatch.org on my neighborhood and let's just say, lapd should probably be watching the crime a little better!) and i'm not perfect, by any means. I'm not the best at anything. But when I really want something, I try really hard. I like being challenged. I find it upsetting when people think I can't do something or even worse, they don't even look at me and see the same things I see. and it's really horrible when those same people are supposed to be your best friends. uh, Friendships are puzzling. They are constantly evolving and changing and developing into something more, something less, a tighter bond or just confusion because you wake up one day and have no idea where the other person is coming from. and we are looking for love. this undeniable sensation, an attraction that only grows stronger. the person we laugh with and tells our fears too. some people i know find love in every person they meet. they are more accepting of it, maybe. they are open to it. we'll call them "openers". then there are others who try over and over, and i think in their quest- they stumble and settle. we'll call those "stumblers". (unfortunately the "stumblers" usually meet, and fall for other "stumblers". ugh.) the solution is the "stumblers" need to find the "openers" and everyone would be a lot happier. And we are all growing up, when is the time when we are grown up? when we definitely know right from wrong? when we know exactly who we are and what we stand for? When does that happen? or does it ever happen?

I have an image in my mind- of the person I am. I hope you can see it too.

ski photos!

Skiing was a lot of fun and check out the new hair... It's pretty cute. bob loves it! bob did really great skiing- seriously I thought he was going to kill himself, but actually he just picked it back up really quickly and was going down blackdiamonds by the end of the weekend. Next time I would definitely ski both days. and a better bed is a must. but all in all pretty great weekend.

I think this is cute.

Now, why couldn't I think of this?!

Hair appointments

this is the thing:
I hate hair appointments. I hate getting my hair done. most people probably think i'm crazy, might be shouting "what, she doesn't like getting her hair done? Is she crazy? doesn't she like it when they wash her hair and give the massage- I live for those!" well, I don't. Everytime I go to the hair salon, I walk in hoping for miracles. Hoping that they can make my brownish-blonde hair look radiant, dashing and the most beautiful blonde color ever. and everytime I am filled with disappointment! It turns out too yellow or orange, or is just off, just alittle. This last time I thought let's add some drama, lets add some more colors- maybe cinnamon or caramel. doesn't that sound delicious?! Give the hair some diminsion.

that sounds amazing. i would love if when I walked into the hair salon, they had all the answers. that they knew exactly what to do with my hair and when I left, I felt like a million bucks. even more actually. felt like a movie star... because ultimately, that is what i want to be. and I can't go around hollywood with orange hair. (or, as of late, gray- from the awful brown that it turned out to be- the brown has faded and left this awfulness.)

Needless to say, tomorrow I am going to hell. I am going to my hair appointment. I am trying a new salon and hopefully the turnout will be heaven, the best experience ever. A girl can hope, can't she?

Ski Weekend Countdown...

We are going skiing this weekend! So, let the countdown begin...

this is what I want to look like...



but hopefully I don't end up like this...




five days...

i can't get enough of these...

really though, i need a dog of my own.

Inspiration for being Cute all the time!

i might need a camel.

What is Feng Shui Anyway???

Here is an article from HGTV.com about Feng Shui. I have included my feelings in () for your enjoyment. So, What the heck is feng shui anyway?!?

Feng Shui Design Glossary
For a quick feng shui decorating fix-up, turn to these accessories and Chinese symbols sure to bring harmony in your home's bagua.


Feng shui (pronounced fung shway), is the ancient Chinese art of placement to create good chi throughout a home. If you're interested in the princicples of feng shui — but don't know where to start — here's a quick list of the feng shui basics you should know.
Chi — the life force of a space

Feng shui colors recommended for your home

Five elements of feng shui:
1. Wood
2. Earth
3. Metal
4. Fire
5. Water

Bagua — a feng shui map for your home that combines nine zones with nine major areas of life, called the guas (pronounced gwa). Visit HGTV.com's interactive bagua to see how you can incorporate each major area into your home for good feng shui:
1. Wealth and Abundance
2. Fame and Reputation
3. Love and Marriage
4. Family and Friends
5. Health
6. Children and Creativity
7. Wisdom
8. Career
9. Travel and Helpful People


Feng shui experts say that touches of "passion colors" like red and pink in the bedroom are a recipe for romance.

The Southwest Corner — the segment of your house where love reigns. It governs the luck of love, romance and family happiness and can be activated by using any of the following accessories:
Mandarin ducks: A pair of mandarin ducks is a symbol of love and romance. Place a pair (not wooden) in the southwest corner of your bedroom to get your love life activated. Also place a vase with a rose behind the ducks. Be sure the sex of the ducks reflects your love preference.

Chandelier: Hanging a chandelier in the southwest corner of your home is wonderful for activating the chi energy that stimulates romance

Soft lighting: Pastel-colored lampshades with muted lighting in the southwest corner creates an ambiance of romance. (i love ambiance.)

Candles: Candles in all shapes, sizes and colors are suggestive of love. (but remember to blow them out before falling asleep, nothing beats waking up to a fire alarm.)

Crystals: Natural crystals are one of the best symbols of mother earth. Rose quartz and yellow citrine work to bring you love and luck. Place them in the southwest corner of your living room. (luckily for me, bob bought me one for my birthday a few years ago.)

Pink bedsheets: Pink sheets raise subtle yang energy, which enhances feelings of love and romance. (go ahead and make them a soft fabric and don't use silk. silk is really gross when damp and with all the romance raised because of the yang energy, you are going to be sweating! also silk does not keep the heat in if it's cold.)

Love symbols: The heart shape is the universal symbol of love. Place one in the southwest corner of your bedroom to invite love into your life. Don't hang too many paintings, pictures or caricatures depicting the gender in which you are not interested in attracting. (interesting...)

Lovebirds: A pair of cranes or lovebirds are symbols of love that represent devotion and togetherness. Romance blossoms when you have a picture of these in the southwest corner of your bedroom. (A lot of things will be in this southwest corner, so put your bed, and everything else for that matter, somewhere else.)

(Contributions to this article from Scripps Howard News Service and the World of Feng Shui and HGTV.com)

love notes

happy valentines day!
me and bhc are celebrating our valentines day on saturday.
so, imagine my surprise and delight when he gave me a card last night.
usually i'm not into really sappy notes, and kinda feel like there is no way to say you love someone without sounding silly- but this card... what he wrote inside was absolutely perfect.
i'd tell you about it, but it's pretty special since it's just for me.

happy love day!

This is weird!

Watch A Liposuction Video! Ahh! seems a little nip/tucky to me!

http://www.dralanbittner.com/liposculpture_video.asp


very, very strange!

So Cute! I love them!

cute photos of dogs dressed up!

A few photos

The first Photo is one from Sea World. So much Fun!!!
the second is from my birthday- showing a cute bangle glenn and zane bought me! yay for presents! I am dressed in "Presidential Wear" because we made a video of Rob's Coming Out as a presidential candidate. yay for rob.

February is one of my favorite times of the year!

February is one of my favorite times of the year because of many things. Let's start by date. The 2nd is groundhogs day. Amazing- I am sure if groundhogs were pets, bob would have one. and then i would have one. we would dress it up in cute costumes and we would play groundhogs day with it all the time and maybe call it g-hog! The 4th- MY BIRTHDAY!!!! and this year it was a very special one. ( i love birthdays and celebrations and parties, so i love birthdays. especially mine!) I am 25! I'm old. It was a great time, we celebrated it at Sea World in San Diego and since it was super bowl sunday- we had the whole park to ourselves. My favorite part was feeding the dolphins! (our dolphins name was beeker. he was very cute.) The 12th... Lincoln's Birthday. One of my favorite presidents- everyone should celebrate this day! I know I did. Then the 14th. Valentines Day. Some people think this holiday is just to help the economy and means absolutely nothing. those same people are the ones who always say things like "why should some stupid card company tell me when to celebrate my love for someone?" I hate these people. First of all, everyone loves chocolate and getting cards. I send them not only to my boyfriend, but my parents and friends too! I mean, I love all of them. Getting mail is amazing. I personally know that sending a letter takes a lot of time, you have to find the perfect card, buy it, write a cute message, address it, buy a stamp (this step alone has cause me to have many a letter years later that a person never received), and finally take it to the post office. So when you open your mail box, it's a great, special feeling. anyway, back to why i hate those valentines day haters- everyone gets busy. even your loved ones. so why not have a day, when everyone in the world knows to share your feelings, take some time off and just relax- with wine and your loved one. love it! The 23rd- 26th... ski weekend! yay! this will be the second year we have gone skiing and played in snow at mammoth mountain in northern california. and this time bob and chris are going- so it's sure to be a great time. Oh, also add almost every award show- which all happen in February. I'm so excited the Oscars are happening. I was pretty upset when the Golden Globes got cancelled. looking forward to all the dresses.


Things that I think are absolutely fab right now:
avonwalk.org (walk for a cause, breast cancer affects all of us- walk! a bonus: reese witherspoon is walking in the l.a. one!)
absolutelybeautifulthings.blogspot.com
using british terms to talk about everyday things. example; fab, flat, dodgey area, the tube
wwww.freepeople.com (seriously though, the cutest clothes ever!)
travel magazines. they usually include a pop up map of their featured spot and I love maps.
design magazines. domino magazine is great for fun, fresh ideas
dogs. enough said.
www.craftandconscience.blogspot.com
saving money to buy a house.

anyway, that i what i am up to.
Love all around.
:)

2008

My boyfriend has a blog and I wanted to post a comment to his blog and when doing so it logged me into blogger and brought me to this blog I made last year. I haven't posted anything on it in over two years and thought I should address where I have been and why I hate blogs.

First things first- I made this blog because I had another blog that I wrote on quite frequently but one I wanted to remain private. So friends of mine kept saying "start a blog", "write a blog", "I want to know your deepest, darkest secrets- fears- etc," (personally, I think that last reason was very creepy!) But I decided, against my better judgement, to start this blog. Reading the last posts are kinda funny because it was so long ago. I hate blogs because even with the best intentions, I can't seem to keep them up. I forget about them, time goes by and then it seems like oh, I should but I have nothing to say or whatever.

a quick catch up: (i hate playing catch up.)
in the last year I moved into a new apartment in north hollywood- which i love. it is two bedrooms and two bathrooms and has 14th foot ceilings. we both have parking spots(very important) and it's on the third floor, so hopefully noone can jump through my window like on CSI or Without a Trace.

i work at a sleep center. a new one. sometimes i still work at the old one, but I really like the environment at the new one and my boss isn't as crazy. which makes a world of a difference. i really miss working with natashsa, but the pay is much better and my stress levels are down- so it's a win-win.

chris moved to vegas. one of my bestfriends moved away and devastation hit l.a. i always loved chris but never fully understood how much I loved him and needed him around to totally feel fulfilled and happy in everyday life. we have visited a few times, but i will always wish for his return to this horrible city.

my grandfather died. he was one of the sweetest people I have ever known. he was known for blowing kisses to my grandmother and always was ready with a cold drink the minute anyone walked through the door. he worked really hard his whole life and after retirement spent his afternoons picking my brother and myself up from school. we had the most amazing car rides home. i was lucky (if that is the right word) to be home in florida when we found out. i officially grew up that day- watching my dad realize that his father had died. I will be completely ok if I never have to witness an event like that ever again.

bob and I. i am so lucky to have someone so sweet and thoughtful and caring to be with everyday. i craved those feelings for so long, wondered what they would feel like and if i would ever feel the same way for someone else. it has been a worthwhile journey of learning and love filled with craziness, fun and laughter that only someone so silly could give me. (this kinda sounds like a proposal or funeral speech... hmm, let's just take it as love.) but for real, I like waking up next to him, watching tv with him, cooking with him, riding in the car with him. he's really cute when he has written a new song and he plays it for me and says "you hate it"- even though I am so impressed and in total awe of his abilities and creativity that i seem to not be able to find the words to express how I feel. and he is really cute when he puts on a suit jacket and thinks he looks amazing.

I traveled to Atlanta to see Carolyn, Florida to see my Family, Mammoth for skiing, Vegas to see Chris and the Killers in Concert, San Fran (twice) to meet bob's cousins and see the killers in concert, to San Diego for Bob's bIrthday, and to Puerto Rico for Christmas.

I experienced my first earthquake.

i was in a play. Twelfth Night by Shakespeare. It was amazing to be on stage again and to play and experiment and have fun everynight. I miss it already.

****2008****

my new years resolution was to try not to pass judgement on others. this is very hard because people are crazy and silly and stupid and idiots and need to be commented on. around 12:14am on new years day- i thought about changing the resolution to judge people alittle less often. i might be able to stick with that one.

my focus for this year is career and friendships. after doing the play i really want to keep being involved in theatre and acting as much as possible. and as far as friendships- i have made several amazing friends in my life time. and some of them i have lost contact with, so I bought this books and i've contacted all of them and i think we are going to write back and forth- until hopefully we are all up to date with eachothers lives and we love eachother and are visiting all the time and etc. as far as my friendships here, i met some really cool people doing the play and i don't want to lose contact with them. and the friends i already had-remembering how important someone is to your everyday life and try to be the best friend you can every single day- not just on some days and hope they remember when you were really great. it's the small things, the everyday things, that matter most.

oh, also I need to go to the dentist. i think something is wrong with my upper left tooth.